Happy third month, Rainbow Sheep!

To my unimaginably incredible, beautiful, wonderful, and amazing rainbow sheep,

(First of all, I want to sincerely apologize to you….. I know you won't accept it, since I'm sure you don't think I've done anything wrong, but I have… and I know that it's going to take me a very long time to get over this. I was planning on making something for you, but I pretty much wasted all the time I had doing nothing at all, really…. I've had so little motivation over the past 3 weeks that even I can hardly believe it.. And I know that's a disgustingly pathetic excuse, but that's all I have. I've felt like such a failure lately, I just don't know what to do…… But I promise that I'll finish the thing I was making as soon as I possibly can, even if I have to force myself.)

Now then…. I'd like to say that these past three months have definitely been quite wonderful, even if there have been times of slight depression… But to tell the truth, those times have made me love you that much more. Nothing feels better than hugging you and being with you when I'm having a less than pleasant day, which has been happening a lot more often lately than I would like…. But I guess that's just how things are sometimes. ….And you know, I'm perfectly okay with that, because I know that I have the most amazing and perfect female companion that I could have ever imagined was even possible. There's something I just don't understand though. ......How did someone like me, as pathetic, unpleasant, and stupid as I am, end up with someone like you..? In my eyes, when I look at you, all I see is complete perfection, the one thing in life that I never thought even existed.  When I'm walking next to you, I have this indescribable feeling of warmth, and everything becomes okay again….. Seeing you is the thing I look forward to the most every single day…. (minus the weekends, of course…) Being with you, no matter for how short of a time, is enough to make up for all the time I spend missing you… I absolutely love all the little things you do, and every last one of those little papers and letters you've given me… And I could spend forever with you, if that were even possible.

…..But sometimes I find myself worrying that I'll lose you someday... Simply because I don't deserve someone like you in my life at all. I don't deserve anything, really… I'm horribly selfish, and I can't seem to help anyone anymore…. I wouldn't be very surprised at all if I ended up losing the only reason I have left to live. I can only hope with all that I am that will never happen though, and hopefully, I have nothing at all to worry about…. And I'm sorry that I always worry so much. It feels like there's hardly a time when I'm not worried about something…

I should also say this… I don't think you realize just how much you've done for me. I know that it's nearly impossible to list every little reason that I have to be thankful for you, and that bottle I gave you could never contain even a fraction of how much thankfulness I truly do have for you….. But I'll take every opportunity I can to attempt to show you how grateful I am for you and for everything you do. There's one reason in particular that I don't think I went over in as much detail as I would have hoped to in that letter… So I want to thank you, for loving me. Honestly, nothing you've done could ever mean more to me. Every morning I wake up, see myself in the mirror, sometimes think back on all the stupid things I've done….. And I have no clue as to how anyone could even bear to associate themselves with me, let alone love me. But you do. You've done the impossible. You've shown an extremely socially awkward, self-hating, pessimistic person what it feels like to be truly loved… And that's something I've never felt before at all and never dreamed I would ever feel, until you came into my life. …You've proven me wrong…. And for just doing that, I could spend an eternity thanking you.

I know that this letter-journal-thing is extremely pathetic, and I feel so terrible that I haven't done anything for you…. I truly don't deserve to have you as my female companion, that I know for sure… But I don't think I could ever feel happier than I do knowing that I can call myself yours.

I love you so much more than I could ever hope to show you, my Rainbow Sheep, my beautiful and unbelievably perfect female companion….






…..I'm sorry that it took me so long to post this…. I kind of spent about 45 minutes after I got home sitting on the floor reading your letter…….. and letting eye juice flow out of my eyeballs the entire time….. But it wasn't exactly because I was sad, I can't say it was because I was happy, and I know that it wasn't because of the letter, since the letter made me feel extremely happy and lucky...... It just happened for no good reason.....