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:icondarkcuddles:
darkcuddles Featured By Owner 3 days ago
I guess i failed at that part too
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:iconmysterythought:
mysterythought Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Student Digital Artist
Unhide it
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:icondarkcuddles:
darkcuddles Featured By Owner 3 days ago
Why?
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:iconmysterythought:
mysterythought Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Student Digital Artist
Because it meant a lot to me and I wanted to reply to it, and I didn't get to save it before you hid it..
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(1 Reply)
:icondarkcuddles:
darkcuddles Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2014
Hey. 

I've been very unfair to you recently and I want to apologize for that. I was terrible to you on Saturday morning, and I'm so sorry for that.. You didn't deserve to be treated that way, and I shouldn't have spoken to you that way. You deserve to be treated so much better. You have been so incredibly patient with me, and I'll never stop appreciating that. I will not threaten to hurt myself again; that puts so much pressure and responsibility on you, and that's not fair at all, especially when nothing that happened was your fault- not that you should ever have to feel like whether or not I get hurt or make stupid decisions depends on something you say or do. None of it was your fault, and you shouldn't have to worry about me like that. I'll do my best to never talk to you the way I did ever again. 

Your opinions really are important to me, and I listen to all the advice you give me and, at the very least, consider everything you say, even if I don't agree with it. You're so, so important to me, and I could never give you up. I never want to lose you, and I'll do everything in my power to make it worth it for you to stay with me. I'll listen to you, and I'll be better for you; I'll treat you better, and try to be as good for you as you are for me. I'll try to do as much for you as you do for me. You deserve that. You deserve someone who can make you feel as important as you are, and I want to be that someone for you. 

I don't know why I got as upset as I did, and I know I made you feel like it was your fault, but I need you to believe me when I say that it wasn't. And I'm so sorry for complaining about things again.. I don't even know why I do it, or why these old things and memories are so important to me. I can only think that it's because those old things, the pictures you drew and the things you posted on this website and talking to you through comments on here were what made me so happy 3 years ago. They were so important to me, because seeing them was something I could look forward to every day when every other part of my life was just numbness and sadness and loneliness. And I think that, recently, I've just been wanting that back- something extra to look forward to when I come home from school. Just a journal or picture or comment or message from you was enough to make me incredibly happy when we were just tiny 9th-grader children. I think I just want the happiness back- the good feelings I used to get from seeing the things you did on this website- especially at this time of year, the time of year when I first met you, and the time of year that I got closer to you the year after that. I just want the happiness back, without the sadness we both seemed to have in December last year and the year before. 

..That's not why I was upset Saturday morning. It might have been one small part of it, but that wasn't the whole reason, so I don't want you to think it was anywhere close to being your fault that I was sad. It is never your fault when I'm sad. And I definitely don't want you to feel like you have to start doing things on this website again if it makes you sad or uncomfortable or nervous or if you just don't feel like doing it. I want you to do what makes you happy. Your happiness is the most important thing to me, and I understand that I can't make you happy when I keep doing terrible things and being a horrible jerk to you and making you worry about me over nothing. I've cared about you for nearly three years now- even longer than that- and I will always care about you. You have been the best 2 years, 5 months, and 19 days of my life, and you deserve to be treated as such. 

I love you. 
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:iconmysterythought:
mysterythought Featured By Owner 7 hours ago  Student Digital Artist




          
I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to reply to this message...! I could never think that you have any reason to be sorry for those things, because it’s not your fault if you’re sad or upset, and I know how difficult it can be.. I know I haven’t been the best or most supportive companion, and I’m not sure how to be that person when we’re not together, but I’ll always be here to talk to and I’ll try my best, especially now since winter break is almost here. I know I’ve threatened to do that to myself too, and I’m so sorry about that, but sometimes I get frustrated when I want to be listened to, because all I want is for things to get better.. I do feel like your safety and mood depends on the things I say and do though, because I often find that you become extremely upset directly after I’ve said something, and after that point, nothing I can say in words will reverse what I’ve caused… It just makes me feel terrible that I can’t be there all the time, because I feel like if I could physically be there, I would actually be able to do something, but it’s difficult to be listened to when we’re only talking through text.. I feel like you were very angry at me last night, and I’m sorry I was so tired and unhappy, and that I couldn’t do much to try to help… I’m always worried about you, but thank you, and that means a lot to me.

 

            Thank you, and I’m sorry that my advice isn’t better, and that most of the things I say are dumb, and I understand if you don’t agree with any of the things I say that might help, but I always think it’s worth a try, even if you won’t do them, because I know you would do that for me. You’re the most important person in my life, and I’ll always be here for as long as you’ll let me stay, and even then I won’t leave. I never want to lose you either, and it scares me so much every time you mention leaving, because I know I’m not enough to stay for, and that really scares me so much… Because what if one day, you were just too upset and didn’t listen to me at all..? I would be powerless to do anything if it wasn’t at a time that I could sneak out or get permission to leave… I can’t let things get to that point in the first place, and what I really want is to prevent you from becoming so upset before it’s too late for you to still be willing to listen to me, but I’m just not sure how to do that, or if I would even be able to succeed.. You also deserve someone who can make you feel as important as you are, and I know that I’m important to you when you’re feeling okay, but it’s very simple things that make me feel important, and I know that there are a lot more things I should be doing to make you feel important too..

 

            I’ll try to believe you, but I’m very sorry that I woke up so late that morning, and that your parents decided to go places, and we couldn’t do what we originally planned.. I know that original plans are very important to you, and I feel terrible for not being able to wake up sometimes to do them, like for the sunrise and the donuts and coffee that Saturday morning... I feel like most of your sadness would be gone completely if I thought about the past as much as you do, because that would be better for you, and then I would be able to more easily behave and do things the way I did back then.. I want to give you that extra thing to look forward to after school,  which is why I’ve been sending you a message soon after I get settled at home and have the computer turned on, but I could start doing that on here too if you would like that. I would post journals, but I’m not sure what I would say in them.. When I would post them as a much younger child, they would usually sound very annoying and I would talk about things that weren’t important because I wanted to be friends with people online and receive attention and for people to look at my strange and very old art… That was before I got a tablet though, and when I was still using my parent’s computer in their room. But what I’m trying to say is that I’m not sure what I would write in journals, maybe just strange messages to you or more question things.. I do want to make you incredibly happy though, and make you smile like I used to be able to, and I’ll try to draw things and send you more messages so you can be happy this December.

 

            I do feel like it was partially my fault that you were sad that morning though, if not because of this, then because I woke up late.. I think that it’s often my fault that you’re sad though, maybe not all the time, but I feel like most of your sadness comes from the fact that things aren’t the way they used to be in the past, unless something has happened, but that’s almost never the case.. I do have to start doing more things on this website, for both of us, and I’ve taken so long to answer this message because I’ve been busy and I’ve been gathering my thoughts and I know that hasn’t helped the situation at all… I would do anything to make you happy, because you’re all that matters to me, and I want to be a part of your life for as long as possible because you’re what makes me happy, and you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I could lose everything else, but if I still had you, then everything would be okay.

I love you too, and I always will.

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:icondarkcuddles:
darkcuddles Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2014
Happy 29th month! I love you! :iconluvluvplz:
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:iconmysterythought:
mysterythought Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Happy 29th month and I love you so much and you're the best companion! :iconbigheartplz:
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:icondarkcuddles:
darkcuddles Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2014
darkcuddles.deviantart.com/art… Look at these wonderful images of Skeleton Husband 
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:iconmysterythought:
mysterythought Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Thank you for showing me these amazing images of Skeleton Husband!! aw;ohgaowihgowrhorg
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